Opening Ceremony Changes

You might think that with just eight days to go, preparations for the Opening Ceremony of the Olympic Games would be virtually complete, with perhaps just a few minor tweaks being implemented to make sure that everything is perfect on the big night. Not so. It was announced yesterday that the ceremony has had to be changed to meet the scheduled running length of three hours. Apparently, the ceremony was running over that length by around thirty minutes, which could have potentially caused problems with transport.

The biggest victims of the changes that have been made seem to be a group of stunt cyclists who were originally booked to perform in the latter stages of the ceremony. These cyclists have obviously been training extremely hard and were very keen to demonstrate their sport at the biggest spectator event in British history. Sadly, that is no longer going to happen and the cyclists involved are understandably gutted.

I can only hope that the choreographers of the Opening Ceremony have made the right cuts. If it turns out that the ceremony is bloated at any point with the buffoonery of bureaucrats or officials spouting guff then the disappointment of the stunt cyclists and their fans will no doubt give way to anger. The Opening Ceremony is meant to excite and inspire, not bore, and if a ten minute world-class stunt cycling exhibition can’t be fitted into a three hour event, the rest of that event had better be pretty amazing.

As I said a few moments ago, transport seems to be the big issue, with buses and London Underground services ending at 2:30am. That is one whole hour later than normal, so we aren’t supposed to complain, but come on… one hour? Couldn’t we have organised 24 hour transport just for the night of the Opening Ceremony? And don’t say it would be too expensive. After all, we spent £22.7 million on the ArcelorMittal Orbit….

The good news for all concerned is that the Opening Ceremony is just that – an opening ceremony – and when most of us wake up on the morning of Saturday 28 July we will be focusing squarely on the Games themselves. Whether or not the news media will choose to do that is a different matter altogether.

The ArcelorMittal Orbit

The ArcelorMittal Orbit is the biggest eyesore and complete waste of money in the history of the world, ever. Or, if you prefer the official line, it’s the tallest steel structure in the UK, a superb work of art, part of the ‘Olympic legacy’ and well worth the £22.7 million that it cost. Yes, the ArcelorMittal Orbit really is that divisive, and for those who haven’t yet seen it, take a look at the YouTube video below to see why…

 

Now I don’t know much about art, but if this is £22.7 million worth then I reckon I could grab a nail gun and knock out about £250,000 worth every time I clear out the garage. Yes, my art would look like an immense pile of crap, but apparently that’s what passes for culture in 21st century London, so who am I to argue?

 

Uhm no, I’ve seen it and I’m still very, very sceptical. Speaking my mind like this probably won’t go down too well in some quarters, but I really feel like I’m actually living in the story of The Emperor’s New Clothes instead of just reading it. People are looking at the ArcelorMittal Orbit and gushing about it, using words like genius, inspired and incredible. Well I’m sorry, but it is none of those things. It’s a huge monstrosity and an embarrassment to the nation. Not only is the Emperor walking around town completely starkers, but his appendage is flapping around in the breeze for good measure, and I reserve the right to point and laugh.

Had the Olympic bods in London given me just ten per cent of what the ArcelorMittal Orbit cost then I could have created something similar using nothing but a second-hand rollercoaster, some scaffolding and some carefully-pilfered racks from the Olympic Weighlifting department. Even better, I’d probably have a couple of million quid left over for nibbles, so we’d all be happy.

There is no real point to today’s post other than to bring your attention to the ArcelorMittal Orbit and highlight how pointless it is. There are starving kids all over the world and someone thinks it’s a good idea to spend over £22.7 million on something like this. Is it just me or doesn’t that demonstrate a ridiculous lack of perspective?